014 - Ash Palais (teaching kids, dance, improvisational theatre, singing)

00:00:00: And for four days, three hundred souls lived inside a bubble of music and connection.

00:00:06: It was called the Jacob Collier Hideaway.

00:00:09: it was truly transformational experience A place where everyone embraced exploration openness and curiosity.

00:00:19: But what happens when you leave this bubble?

00:00:22: When your scattered back to your own corner?

00:00:26: For me, the experience was too meaningful to let it fade into a distant memory.

00:00:32: So this podcast is my anchor A space to share who you are Stories inspiration creative aspirations and struggles.

00:00:45: These are hideaway stories And To begin each episode I asked every guest to bring us song sound a jingle that is meaningful for them that inspired them, and this is the sound for my next guest.

00:01:23: Hey Ash!

00:01:23: Hey how are you?

00:01:26: What is the Sound?

00:01:27: why did you choose this?

00:01:29: okay so I chose The Ocean because the ocean has been So integral um i think to The development of who I am as a person from the ocean right next to where I grew up.

00:01:51: And my dad was a surfer and a musician, and he used to go to The Beach really early in the morning and sometimes he would take us when i was even like really little...I remember going sitting on the beach at about six or seven AM watching him surf.

00:02:16: my dad did that I loved was play a lot of guitar.

00:02:18: So like, there would be some days where it'd wake up in the morning and I would hear The Ocean at the beach.

00:02:24: then as I was falling asleep he'd playing guitar always.

00:02:28: And um...I think That The ocean has this incredible quality Of movement & sound.

00:02:39: thats unpredictable & vast and kind of a big macrocosm, so many microcosms in our lives.

00:02:51: Like recently actually I was getting some body work done...I don't know if you know what that is?

00:02:57: You know what bodywork.

00:02:59: it's like deep massage where they create space in your fascia which are the microfibers on your tissue to heal.

00:03:12: And it was so painful and it's so emotionally charged.

00:03:17: Like that supposedly where you store all your emotions, I had to start...I was crying but then I started to like naturally just breathe deeply through my nose for minutes.

00:03:30: It was ten minutes when i went into this rhythmic breathing.

00:03:34: I just kind of channeled the ocean, like once i made that connection and so much... And then I was able to release all this stuff by going into a meditative breath inspired from the ocean.

00:04:05: It's such a musical phenomenon for me.

00:04:08: How

00:04:08: does it...?

00:04:09: First off where?

00:04:11: Did, where you grew up?

00:04:13: I was born in Santa Monica and i grew up In a small town called pacific palisades which actually A vast majority of it burned down earlier this year.

00:04:26: Oh really yeah

00:04:27: don't know did You see the fires?

00:04:29: It wasn't...it Was actually past the Year.

00:04:31: now it's January seventh twenty-twenty five.

00:04:34: Yeah so that was.

00:04:36: That was..that was a wild Experience And it affected a lot of my close friends and family.

00:04:45: Wow, that's so hard!

00:04:48: Did they lose their houses?

00:04:51: Yeah I know hundreds of people who lost our homes...I actually just went back for the first time maybe about a month ago because i just couldn't do I mean, the dance studio that I grew up and was at every day burned down.

00:05:14: My school burnt out my elementary school burn-down part of high school burned down The theater that i grew up performing in Burnt Down just kind so much like my childhood backdrop.

00:05:28: And how are they rebuilding it?

00:05:29: Like what's their status now?

00:05:33: It's moving along but...I don't think its ever gonna be this same you know.

00:05:39: But I do think that, you know... ...I think it will probably take five years before it starts to look normal again.

00:05:48: but there are already houses being rebuilt.

00:05:51: Where did people sleep?

00:05:53: When their house is burnt down?

00:05:55: Yeah when everything burned down

00:05:57: Well even the first night we had people here at our house and so People went into their friends' houses.

00:06:04: many people went to hotels many people left town because it was an ordeal.

00:06:08: I mean, this fire lasted for two weeks before it was fully put out and the Altadena area hit really hard too.

00:06:17: so there were basically two smaller cities that burned down.

00:06:24: So they moved away?

00:06:26: They're living somewhere else now?

00:06:28: Yeah!

00:06:30: Many people are renting homes in their rebuilding Um, and it's kind of an ongoing ordeal for many people.

00:06:44: And a lot of kids too.

00:06:46: so many of the kids because I'm an educator some of the kits that i work with lost their homes.

00:06:52: what is The way they're?

00:06:55: people deal With this like do you see A consistency in maybe how They make sense Of the situation How they would Like the narrative they have?

00:07:06: Maybe It's communal community things, like how do you see people dealing with this?

00:07:13: Well there's a vast array of responses and reactions to something like this.

00:07:19: And I think that they... There was so much community outreach especially in LA just everybody in the city.

00:07:34: There were people, I think who are ignoring it.

00:07:36: But there were many people out there giving their time to help others.

00:07:41: They had so many donations that they had to stop them.

00:07:45: So the community rallied together.

00:07:47: but there's a lot of interesting responses A lot of people blame in government which... The government definitely played part certain groups in the government, but I also feel that this is a definite climate change issue and The narrative hasn't been about climate change Most of the time when I hear people talking about it.

00:08:19: They blame like government officials.

00:08:20: But the wind was eighty miles an hour.

00:08:24: so It's its-that something we don't see here And that was wild.

00:08:32: I mean, we went up on our route... We have like a little roof deck and we went out when we watched- Like i could see the flames from The Deck!

00:08:42: It's really scary.

00:08:43: but what is even more scary it was like..I was losing my balance On the roof so eventually just came inside and this isn't safe.

00:08:53: But yeah....It was wild.

00:08:59: Yeah, I'm sorry to hear that.

00:09:02: It's always somewhere else in the world until it is not so... Right!

00:09:09: Of course you see pictures and devastating things shared on social media which are just horrible but when your in Germany at least its'nt like you have first contact or first hand experience from what happened.

00:09:30: So

00:09:31: yeah, I'm so sorry for everybody who has to still go through this.

00:09:37: Me too!

00:09:38: How are the children taking

00:09:41: it?

00:09:45: You know is affluent who lives there.

00:10:00: There's people have been like my friends parents Who've been their since the eighties.

00:10:03: a lot of them are teachers and dental hygienists, you know Like.

00:10:08: they're not like investors or lawyers Or you know some more lawyers but you know what I mean?

00:10:13: Like i think They Have A Lot Of Resources But Some People Don't.

00:10:18: When It Comes To The Children I Think The Parents Have Been Doing A Really Good Job Just Helping Them Heal And Getting Them you know, the help that they need.

00:10:28: Whether it's therapy or participating in community activities to help with like processing of loss because I mean... It is a crazy thing to think about being kid and just be like oh my entire town burnt down You know?

00:10:46: That really traumatic event.

00:10:49: Yeah, yeah this Ummm....I'll come back to you.

00:10:58: Sorry!

00:11:01: I don't know how to transition from that.

00:11:31: and you said, the ocean is musical.

00:11:34: How do you see that?

00:11:37: And what does it do for your music that you make in?

00:11:43: how was the Ocean inspiring your Music?

00:11:45: Is there any connection?

00:11:49: Well I think a lot of The music That i've been influenced by has Been inspired By like kind Of surf.

00:12:02: some of It is surf music and Has been Inspired by bands who lived by the ocean.

00:12:09: Even just like Jack Johnson, The Beach Boys... I don't know?

00:12:19: There's that.

00:12:20: and then there also when you spend a lot of time with the Ocean You feel this rhythmic pull of the tide.

00:12:30: It's moving in an out it is very rhythmic And it also changes all the time, and there's this beautiful like moving aspect of it.

00:12:43: I think that is what music is for me.

00:12:47: Music making doesn't need to be perfect at all.

00:12:50: Like i'm very much in a space of play right now with music It can also be really dark and scary, and catch you off guard.

00:13:05: And like pull you into it...it's a dramatic thing!

00:13:08: You know?

00:13:09: Its'a dramatic phenomenon in the ocean to me.

00:13:13: I know people don't grow up near so they might not understand that.

00:13:19: but there is all these little nuances of sounds.

00:13:22: if its super foamy You hear like the little crackles of the bubbles dissipating as The tide washes back in and you Hear the seagulls.

00:13:36: Like.

00:13:36: there's also, like all the ambient sounds around the ocean And I love to hear that the screams of people playing In-in the Ocean or playing volleyball Or just the people talking.

00:13:49: There is so much That happens Around it.

00:13:54: It's a beautiful place So in terms of music, I feel like yeah...I don't know.

00:14:03: That has been a constant source of rhythm in my life.

00:14:06: It's a place that i go to find myself again and connect back to the earth And I always feel re-inspired and reinvigorated Kind of cleansed.

00:14:18: Do

00:14:19: you write?

00:14:21: Do I write at The Ocean?

00:14:24: Do You Write In General writing songs?

00:14:26: Yes

00:14:27: And do you write, like... Do you specifically go to the ocean to write?

00:14:34: I don't specifically go into the ocean right.

00:14:39: But maybe i should!

00:14:41: I definitely feel when im out in nature wherever I am especially if Im in a space of not having work and on vacation or whatever..I always want to write If Im near the ocean.

00:14:54: Especially we got Hawaii alot here just cause its not too far from us, not a lot but you know maybe once a year or maybe once every two years and whenever I'm in Hawaii just want to write.

00:15:05: There's so many things that inspire me there... But yeah what were you gonna say?

00:15:13: Yeah no because i saw the connection of being grounded as a good way to receive and be inspired is a good.

00:15:27: That's why I thought, oh maybe there is a connection where this is something that you do.

00:15:35: But i'm interested in the process.

00:15:36: so what is your writing process?

00:15:39: How does it usually come

00:15:40: about?".

00:15:42: Well...I am still working!

00:15:44: It's an ever-changing process but mostly its intuitive.

00:15:52: So..i think Setting the stage for my writing process personally involves a couple of things and one of them is like good health practices, eating healthy Is really important.

00:16:11: And working out definitely inspires me to write more.

00:16:15: I just get... My head is clearer and more comes in But otherwise, it doesn't necessarily... There's times when I'm not eating healthy or working out and I'm inspired.

00:16:49: Twenty minutes long and there's minutes in minutes of just You know shower sound, and then like the melody comes through again And so I sifted through them.

00:16:59: And I pull little things and most of time I don't do much with them.

00:17:03: but last night i Was...I heard a whole arrangement for life on Mars by David Bowie In my head Like a harmonic piece and um..i went straight to My computer afterwards made it, so that was fun.

00:17:23: Let me stay with your writing process first... Do you voice as your main instrument?

00:17:34: Voice is my main instrument!

00:17:36: And do you play other instruments?

00:17:40: I don't consider myself a player of any other instruments but i do write on the piano and i play a little bit in ukulele.

00:17:49: My husband plays the ukuleles.

00:17:51: Okay, okay.

00:17:52: We have to and all mess around on it And that's something I'm gonna put a lot more time into this year is writing or learning the play The Piano in the ukulele But i write along with my voice.

00:18:08: So what?

00:18:08: ...and like layer-and-stack My Voice.

00:18:11: And...I've done This because It's the only I don't Play an instrument!

00:18:17: And..i thought for so long In my life That Like I wasn't good enough because i didn't play an instrument or... ...I just wasn't equipped to make music.

00:18:27: And then, I had this kind of epiphany that my voice is a great instrument and.. ..that can use it to write.

00:18:38: so....

00:18:40: I agree!

00:18:43: So what do you understand?

00:18:47: You write songs by singing.

00:18:51: You don't have pen and paper in front of you?

00:18:55: Usually not.

00:18:56: And for me, Melody comes first... ...and that's just I think what has been conditioned in me.

00:19:06: Um..I was- I still do but I was a professional dancer, and i'm a choreographer.

00:19:14: And so much of even writing music for me comes from my experience with dance and choreography... ...and everything that I've learned from that which-I spent probably ten thousand hours doing that!

00:19:27: So I just took all those lessons that I learnt.. ..and then translated them into this music practice because always carrying around this thing, my whole life like from high school of just lyrics.

00:19:43: And I didn't know why it was writing them and i Didn't know that I was a musician!

00:19:46: I knew I could sing and love to sing... ...and I participated in choir growing up with my dad at coffee shops.... A local church recruited me to sing.

00:19:55: so..I had all these experiences singing- I was in musicals but I did not know That I am a songwriter at ALL!

00:20:02: Then one day I looked back and thought you know what?

00:20:05: I have all the lyric sense.

00:20:07: I think there's something inside me that wants to write.

00:20:09: And so, i started writing and it just came so naturally

00:20:25: Because then you just wrote down lyrics without a song in mind.

00:20:30: Just writing down the lyrics?

00:20:31: Yeah, that's what I was doing for many years.

00:20:34: I was almost writing poetry but when I was writing it... ...I wasn't thinking like oh this is a poem and they were lyrics.

00:20:43: But i don't know why- I did it!

00:20:45: It isn't something I worked on.. ..but it was weird to do.

00:20:51: so

00:20:52: How does it turn into a song?

00:20:54: Well,

00:20:55: so Yeah.

00:20:57: Yeah please yeah

00:20:58: well I started taking voice lessons In my early twenties mid-twenties because I decided that I just wanted to explore That again and I missed singing And this I had this one teacher shout out to Sarah Evelyn Edwards who is now like a famous youtuber.

00:21:18: she talks about castles, she's so cool.

00:21:20: And she was so inspiring and encouraging to me like... She was just.

00:21:24: this is your thing?

00:21:25: You could have been this type of singer or this type if you had known in one way.

00:21:31: it kind of sad when she said that but also gave a lot confidence and courage.

00:21:36: So I went well start now go down the path in little Tokyo and LA like, In the middle of day at twelve

00:21:50: p.m.,

00:21:51: And sing for an hour or two.

00:21:54: So I just kind got that channel open within myself Like i really believe in creative channels That we have.

00:22:02: It was cool.

00:22:03: There were other people randomly there too so it would meet cool people.

00:22:06: Then I started to realize oh theres a community here.

00:22:08: I'd love to be part of that.

00:22:12: Once I opened that channel then Melody started coming often, and I started with voice memos.

00:22:18: And I still use voice memas all the time to just get any idea out that I have at

00:22:23: anytime.".

00:22:24: Then a friend of mine maybe like eight years ago said to me hey i'm trying to figure how to use one of production programs...I forgot which one it was but anyway Ableton or something he said.

00:22:41: could you arrange version of retrograde?

00:22:45: by James Blake and I was like, I don't have no idea about how to do that but i'll try.

00:22:52: And so...I did it!

00:22:53: It turned out great and had so much fun and came naturally for me.

00:23:04: That's a big song also.

00:23:06: Yeah its'a great song.

00:23:10: What you mean re-arrange?

00:23:12: Just with voice or?

00:23:15: Yeah,

00:23:15: well actually he asked me to cover it and then I ended up doing like a lot of just like harmony stacks all over the place.

00:23:24: Like vocal stacks And i didn't even know what those were but I kind of kept going.

00:23:30: Is that um available somewhere?

00:23:34: yeah!

00:23:35: I can send that to you.

00:23:36: Yeah please But its not out on Spotify.

00:23:40: Anyway, I think you put it up on YouTube.

00:23:44: Okay?

00:23:45: Yeah to me.

00:23:47: Can i?

00:23:47: can i include a small like sure of it?

00:23:51: yeah absolutely.

00:24:14: So i think from to go further its probably better if u Introduce yourself like who you are, where your from what you're doing because I think that helps with the next orientation for the next topics.

00:24:32: Okay?

00:24:33: Maybe?

00:24:33: yeah maybe so Who Are You Where From?

00:24:37: What Do You Doing With Your Life?

00:24:40: Yeah!

00:24:40: Love it okay So my name is Ash and i'm from California.

00:24:48: It was born in Los Angeles in Santa Monica And I consider myself a creative.

00:24:55: So, i'm an educator and a coach and mentor to many youths...I work one-on-one with people.. I worked as faculty member which is actually going stop doing that this year and focus more on music really excited about it but was choreographer actor in the screen actors guild.

00:25:19: So I've kind of done a lot of performance.

00:25:22: And then now, i'm really honing in on songwriting and singing... ...and learning how to do that and releasing music.

00:25:35: My goal is put all my skills together!

00:25:45: where you know it's like I've written the music, i'm singing the music.

00:25:49: I have choreographed a full dance video with multiple people and then perhaps do storyline videos with acting and kind of creatively direct all that.

00:26:00: so thats the path that im heading in um...and also want to continue be an educator in the entire world.

00:26:12: That's my dream is to travel around and help facilitate arts education, dance and music.

00:26:22: just talk about creativity then be creating and releasing and hopefully performing stuff too.

00:26:35: Let's go still stay with a voice memo which is come back so that I don't miss this thought.

00:26:45: How many voice memos do you have on your phone?

00:26:49: I think i'm in the seven hundreds, but let me check.

00:26:54: That's crazy!

00:26:55: Seven

00:26:55: eighteen...I need to delete a lot of them But that's

00:27:00: crazy.. It is so funny because I was just talking through Angus and he has thousands of voicememos On his phone And before him & You I didn't know people who had more than twenty.

00:27:19: So

00:27:20: even, even i don't have many like because of course i can sing so there's not much to go from.

00:27:25: but um it's so interesting that you're the second person in a row that has seven hundred uh voice memos.

00:27:35: well tell you this fact too.

00:27:37: i think that about four hundred were written in the last year and

00:27:43: half Wow.

00:27:46: So is

00:27:47: there one that you can play into the microphone just for like interest?

00:27:54: Curiosity?

00:27:56: Yeah, of course What do you want to hear?

00:28:00: There's so many.

00:28:01: Do you wanna Just here Like a little?

00:28:03: Did You?

00:28:05: did you somehow name them That you know what it's about?

00:28:08: yeah

00:28:10: Okay wait I have an idea which One was The Closest one To hide away after hideaway and then like one that you really loved maybe, had to do with hide away or something.

00:28:26: That was inspired from hide-away in the vein.

00:28:33: Okay this is In The Shower so your gonna hear the rain in background.

00:28:36: I think this is just like nonsense, but let me fast...

00:29:04: I can see some nice harmonies going with that.

00:29:06: Yeah it's a song called Wasting Time That i was working on for a second and forgot about.

00:29:10: so im glad you asked my question

00:29:15: How far is the wasting time in process of being produced?

00:29:21: That's like very in the beginning stages of, I haven't even finished the full structure.

00:29:27: So

00:29:28: you didn't record anything for that?

00:29:31: No there is just a bunch of voice memos about it but its cool and gets stuck into my head.

00:29:36: But i've been working on other things.

00:29:39: Wasting

00:29:40: time.

00:29:43: First off all thank-you so much for sharing.

00:29:46: This was really cool to hear all these different processes of people being creative and finding there.

00:29:57: I've had so many metaphors already on this podcast, let me stay with this voice memo.

00:30:05: So when you say... When I

00:30:07: said

00:30:08: close to hideaway in something that inspired from it why did you choose this one now?

00:30:15: To show?

00:30:17: I just looked back at time.

00:30:22: That was one of the voice memos, there is probably like fifteen right after Hideaway that it stuck with me and so I kept developing.

00:30:34: And... Was there a concrete link to Hideaway for that?

00:30:38: or just off topic something else?

00:30:42: Yeah!

00:30:42: There definitely was.

00:30:46: So i went to Susie Collier's retreat Before hideaway about.

00:30:51: it was in October and then hide away.

00:30:54: Was in August actually went to two of Susie's retreats before hideaway.

00:30:58: Oh Jealous

00:31:01: It was incredible just so incredible, and I'm actually going on next week.

00:31:05: So i'm pretty fired up right now To be doing that again.

00:31:09: And the at the first one?

00:31:12: I mean she just II had already woken up this songwriter inside of me, but I really didn't...I was really unsure of it.

00:31:23: Like i didn't fully believe that it was as big- It was like I knew how big it was.

00:31:28: But I also had that self doubt and a lot of A tendency to freeze up Of whether it was freezing up in terms of wanting to perform or performing Or just actually taking action making music.

00:31:47: So when I went to Hideaway, Susie had really woken up this power in me and was starting to play with it.

00:32:00: And believe in it... ...and actually getting music produced by the time that I was at Hideaway!

00:32:06: I think Hideaway for me is just an exclamation point on my own validation of you are enough, you don't need to know anything else.

00:32:21: To make music... You have everything you need!

00:32:24: Of course I can learn and want to learn so much more and always be learning.

00:32:32: but it was just this moment of YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE.

00:32:37: And um i felt very at home being around musical people like..i had the most incredible time in a whole time.

00:32:44: So that song Wasting Time For me was like I spent so much time wasting time.

00:32:51: Like, i felt...I feel like I was dormant.

00:32:55: You know what that means?

00:32:57: It's like being a volcano is like dormant!

00:32:59: Like it just..i was hiding.

00:33:02: What time are we talking about now?

00:33:05: you mean before hideaway or...?

00:33:08: I feel my whole life In terms of music, I was like playing with it a little bit for like a couple weeks here and a couple week there.

00:33:20: For the ten years before i went to hideaway.

00:33:24: but in the beginning of twenty-twenty four I set out to write an album...I have all these songs..like im gonna write and produce an album or finish writing and produced an album.

00:33:35: And I didn't do that which is why I went to Susie Collier's retreat was to gain insight and inspiration about why I wasn't doing it.

00:33:44: And did produce one song by August of twenty-twenty four, but that's all i had done!

00:33:51: So...I really found out why I hadn't done it.

00:33:55: There were so many things making more music.

00:34:02: And now I'm not so much on...I really love timelines and goals because, it gives us a mark to work towards but i like keep them flexible.

00:34:16: It's important for me Not finish the album by certain time But that just keeps going with it.

00:34:22: That comes out at right times.

00:34:28: So what is your goal currently?

00:34:30: When you say, like goals.

00:34:34: I hope to finish an album by the end of twenty-twenty seven a full album It's like two do eight to ten songs But even like an EP would be great.

00:34:47: but if i could get to four out on By The End Of Twenty-Twenty Seven I'll Be Super Stoked About That.

00:34:53: And How Many Songs Do You Have So Far?

00:34:56: Um...I released Two Song.

00:34:58: Well Actually Everyone Coming Out In Two Weeks But I Released One Song.

00:35:03: And then I have a bunch that i'm working on.

00:35:32: really picky about who I work with.

00:35:35: And the reason that i'm picking out, Who?

00:35:37: I Work With is because...I think That- I did have some experience like.

00:35:40: it Did try to do music About ten years ago and It was.. I just worked with.

00:35:47: Some people were kind of discouraging or Like where I didn't Have chemistry with them!

00:35:53: Then when I finally started working with a few People that had Chemistry with I understood this is what it's supposed to feel like when you're making music.

00:36:01: So I think it's really important that we be honest with ourselves, when were picking collaborators and its okay if your don't have chemistry with somebody just kind of dating If you dont' have some chemistry or someone who doesn't mean you are not going find anybody thats gonna have chemistry which was something i felt maybe i didn't.

00:36:22: But once I started to work with people that were like, everything just flowed really naturally.

00:36:29: Like... That's my challenge in general is right now i'm trying-I'm trying to figure out who to work With and I have one person that i'm working with To produce the stuff.

00:36:40: um And he brought in his friend and they were both absolutely amazing to produce a song thats coming Out In two weeks.

00:36:46: but yeah actively finding People!

00:36:50: an expectation except to make something great.

00:36:53: In LA, there's this big push of like.

00:36:57: let's do this to make money or for the music industry or whatever and I think in those lines sometimes but not about the art that i'm making...I just think okay I actually want to make music that is accessible to many people But also am not super judgmental either Like..i wanna make something that I love And whoever im working with is really excited to work on, too.

00:37:23: What's the name of this song that's going out?

00:37:26: It's called Part Of Me.

00:37:31: And you wrote it?

00:37:36: I did!

00:37:41: I did have a friend come in and tweak a few things for me, she's really talented songwriter who names Eva Rose.

00:37:51: She is out there on Spotify.

00:37:52: you can check her out but yeah because she was great guitar player so came here to help change the chords.

00:38:01: then i wanted work with very talented musician that is on faculty at the school that I work at, and his name is Chris Copica.

00:38:13: And i approached him and played him a bunch of songs that I want to get produced...and he picked part- He said, ''I wanna work on that

00:38:19: song.''.

00:38:19: So I said great!

00:38:20: so he came over..And The first thing we did was write a bass line.

00:38:26: Mostly he was writing the bassline but We worked it together made some changes To It and loved it.

00:38:32: That happened really fast.

00:38:34: Why?

00:38:34: Because

00:38:36: he's an incredible bassist And I just felt...I love the bass.

00:38:44: I think as a dancer it's like, The Bass is really important and i like to make music that people can dance too.

00:38:51: It not necessarily A dance song Like an indie pop song But anything that vibes Where you get your body moving.

00:39:04: So after we did The Bass.

00:39:05: We came into this room And we start actually, I think this is cool.

00:39:10: If...I have a bag around here somewhere.

00:39:13: It's brown paperbag and it has broken cookie jar in it.

00:39:18: We're finding things to make percussive sounds with.

00:39:23: So i passed him a cookie jar that was like dog cookie jar.

00:39:29: He picked up by the top of it.

00:39:31: The bottom fell out And he looked at me and he was like, I'm so sorry.

00:39:37: And... ...I immediately said don't worry about it.

00:39:42: this is that what's supposed to happen.

00:39:45: Let's figure out what we're supposed do with these pieces.

00:39:47: So then put all the pieces into a brown paper bag.

00:39:50: Then we just shook them in to.

00:39:51: this mic Made some really cool sounds.

00:39:55: I used a tap shoe I chanced I practice Buddhism, and I chant with these beads.

00:40:03: So there's like bead sounds going this in the mic... And what else did we use?

00:40:11: We used a metal chair-a metal yoga chair.

00:40:15: if you just hit it!

00:40:17: Then there is sound that kind of sounds like a samurai sword in it.

00:40:20: That was my Stanley Cup water bottle.

00:40:26: It was fun to get creative with what we had here, and I think that for me the whole experience made me realize how much potential is around you to create music.

00:40:41: You know going back to the ocean.

00:40:42: i'd love to go and record the ocean one day and put that into music.

00:40:47: um...I just think unique sounds are fun!

00:40:54: Yeah especially love doing your own drums.

00:40:59: And I think there is, first of all.

00:41:03: I think breaking things it's the best like hires and snares and percussion especially what you have...I don't have seven hundred recordings.

00:41:14: maybe i've twenty but when I have some It has..especially to do with breaking ice When theres a frozen puddle or lake.

00:41:30: recordings of me cracking down on the ice because there's something about it that you cannot reproduce.

00:41:38: I don't know how, but its so cool and it is so snare-y.

00:41:42: But also if we put this under a kick drum It just gives us so much weight!

00:41:48: Its SO great.

00:41:49: If u put it in a cake drum what would be?

00:41:54: Oh like a bass drum or a kick.

00:41:57: I thought you said cake and i was really excited about it.

00:42:00: Cake

00:42:01: drum?

00:42:03: Maybe should invent this but no, i don't mean a cake drum.

00:42:10: Do have any recordings that you could play of the ice?

00:42:14: Oh many yeah!

00:42:15: Of course.

00:42:17: So many.

00:42:18: oh also i just saw leaves like autumn leaves Like if you just crack them, they're also so good broken glass.

00:42:28: I have that Here's ice crack it.

00:42:31: ice cracking.

00:42:40: Wow.

00:42:49: If you put that under a kick drum snare like layer it on top of some hi-hat It's so great and especially because you have so many Crackles that You can put them in super wide stereo And then its is Just So

00:43:06: Full.

00:43:08: It's

00:43:08: super cool.

00:43:10: What I also found is anything that you do with your mouth, like disgusting sounds that would never actually do this... You know?

00:43:27: Just breathing and if you just compress the hell out of it.

00:43:39: Do you know OTT the block-in?

00:43:43: No.

00:43:44: You should get that, I think it has to be part of everyone's arsenal.

00:43:50: The OTT Block-In is basically an over exaggerated compressor and you don't actually use as a compressor boost every tiny little sound so much to the surface that it's just one flat line.

00:44:07: There is no dynamics anymore, but when you have sounds like these... It brings out some crazy situations with possible drum elements I can recommend as well.

00:44:22: Yes please!

00:44:23: These are things i need to learn.

00:44:26: So right now even..I'm working in garage band Like, my to-do list is like biologic this week because I want to become more proficient and be able create a cohesive blueprint of whatever it's that i'm working on.

00:44:45: But the possibilities are overwhelming... ...and really exciting!

00:44:53: You know?

00:44:53: Just hearing how you're fired up about THAT particular.

00:45:00: My wife always thinks I'm at an airport and just standing there with my phone.

00:45:07: It's some random place where somebody is hammering something into a wall, but she's like oh my god he's recording again!

00:45:18: Like...I am so weird for that

00:45:22: you know?

00:45:29: When you get that inspiration, You have to take it.

00:45:33: A lot of times I'll be sitting in a restaurant In the middle of conversation and i will just walk out with my voice memo But My husband is calling me as well.

00:45:44: Yeah And then It's like Okay Do we need to stand here?

00:45:49: And Im going to clap Telling if the echo Is great Something Like Now used to it since, I mean together since eighteen years.

00:46:01: So she's used my witness but yeah... It's funny!

00:46:06: Really funny.

00:46:07: That is really cool.

00:46:08: Is she a musician as well?

00:46:10: No She has nothing to do with

00:46:16: that.

00:46:17: But we have very similar music taste which probably one of the most important criteria for me.

00:46:26: I

00:46:27: don't think we could share, or have a long lasting relationship when somebody's just not listening to this like similar music.

00:46:35: I fully agree with you on that.

00:46:38: So...I don't

00:46:38: even know how a car ride would work?

00:46:42: That was one of the first things that um i noticed about my husband When were first dating We-i Think it Was Like The First Five Weeks That We Were Dating.

00:46:53: It Was Fourth Of July And He Said Hey Do You Want To go to this place called Lake Havasu, which we ultimately had a really... It was not the best trip but The Car Ride went by really quickly because both were just fired up going back and forth playing each other music.

00:47:11: We kind of realized oh we're on the same vibe!

00:47:14: We like all the same stuff.

00:47:15: And it became very apparent that music.

00:47:22: I think that's important in a relationship too.

00:47:27: Unless you both don't like music, but if you like music it is wonderful thing to share.

00:47:33: Yeah It always... Like i'm the guy who wants show people musics.

00:47:41: Oh!

00:47:41: I have new song and for different friends its different kind of

00:47:45: songs That

00:47:46: I shared.

00:47:47: Its so crazy.

00:47:53: I still use Apple Music, like the app.

00:47:59: And currently i'm looking at it.

00:48:03: eleven thousand seven hundred songs in there which is but that now comes my nerdiness Which is all rated with stars Like twelve thousand songs rated with Stars and only those have three stars above are Still In The Library.

00:48:24: Okay, so

00:48:25: there is no song underneath three stars unless it has basically a very specific purpose.

00:48:33: Yeah.

00:48:34: Let's come back to you.

00:48:37: let me just Talk about the educator part because this is currently very on top of mind for you since your stopping or That's what you said like shifting faculty shift.

00:48:51: Oh yeah

00:48:54: Okay.

00:48:55: Where?

00:48:56: What kind of education topic, like what are you

00:49:01: teaching- I'm on faculty at an all girls progressive school.

00:49:07: it's sixth grade through twelfth grade.

00:49:11: uh It's a phenomenal school and i teach...I teach as sixth in seventh grade advanced dance group.

00:49:20: and then I teach a ninth grade dance company, an eleventh-grade dance company.

00:49:26: And then i teach improvisational... Wait

00:49:29: wait sorry!

00:49:30: I don't understand that.

00:49:32: A ninth grade Dance Company?

00:49:35: Yeah

00:49:36: so we have companies for each grade at our school like a small company of dancers.

00:49:43: Ah company not as in the firm.

00:49:47: Yes, not as an affirm.

00:49:48: Yeah like we call it a company of dancers.

00:49:51: so I have the ninth

00:49:53: grade Company?

00:49:54: I really didn't get it okay

00:49:56: i'm the CEO of a ninth-grade company.

00:49:58: no uh yeah It's pretty much.

00:50:03: um yeah.

00:50:04: and then so ninth grade in eleventh grade.

00:50:07: And then uh II teach improvisational theater Um III teach middle schoolers, I teach every sixth grader comes to me for a rotation.

00:50:21: So i teach them like an introduction into improvisational theater.

00:50:25: and then I have an advanced middle-school group that does improvisational theatre.

00:50:29: That's more like invitation only in their kids who are really dedicated to it And just love the craft Do like performance coaching and do the choreography.

00:50:43: I'm a co-choreographer with The Director for the musicals.

00:50:49: Yeah, middle school musical in our high school musical.

00:50:51: so we did.

00:50:52: We didn't legally blonde for the High School Musical this past fall And right now were In the Middle of Newsy's which is really fun.

00:51:00: great musical Great Music.

00:51:02: It set Eighteen ninety-nine or nineteen

00:51:05: hundred and it's about the newspaper boys starting a union.

00:51:18: So, its like you unionization against corrupt corporations which is very applicable to our current situation.

00:51:31: yeah history repeating itself.

00:51:33: yes

00:51:35: okay.

00:51:35: so Let's talk about dance and improvisational theater.

00:51:43: What would be tips that you have for dancing?

00:51:50: I guess people are on different levels of how comfortable they are with dancing, especially their shame attached to it... with how it is, with voice.

00:52:10: Maybe not as stigmatized as a voice or as shameful his voice but I remember when i was young like in my teens and um...I wanted to be cool and cool guys.

00:52:24: they don't dance.

00:52:25: so of course you never saw me on the dance floor.

00:52:27: that's for

00:52:28: sure!

00:52:34: crazy thing I had in my mind.

00:52:38: Anyway, so i'm saying this because what is tips that you have?

00:52:44: Maybe if people want to first of all understand maybe why dancing might be beneficial and What can you do to improve your dancing.

00:52:55: Oh wow there's just So much There That You Just Brought Up First Of All Eighteen year old or fifteen-year-old Philip onto the dance floor because

00:53:09: yeah, you wouldn't have.

00:53:10: Yeah I mean then You would have to be a love interest very much and also like Like dancing like How do say?

00:53:22: Intimately that Would Be The Only Chance.

00:53:25: i would not just Dance for fun.

00:53:27: okay

00:53:28: There's A lot of Criteria in there

00:53:31: i was so ashamed Of.

00:53:33: you know like Being Seen You know, that's so it was more of an insecure.

00:53:38: Of course I brushed it off as being cool but of course It Was just insecurity.

00:53:44: Well yeah i mean That's Being a teenager for you But it's So.

00:53:47: it's Just so Fascinating to me because?

00:53:50: I don't Know.

00:53:51: i've Just Been so Inundated in the world of dance For so long and um i know so many guys who Dance And i agree there.

00:54:00: i think back then There was A lot of stigma and people don't want to look silly.

00:54:06: It's an easy thing for people to make fun of, but I think that it's an Easy Thing For People To Make Fun Of because... ...people are jealous of it!

00:54:16: I think anybody-I think dancing is such a wonderful enjoyable or enjoyable expression of the spirit That's unique so unique to humans That phrase Are We Humans Or Are We Dancers?

00:54:33: I have a theory that we are dancers.

00:54:36: And if, you know... There're very few people that i've met who really can't dance and when they cant it's more their subconscious holding them back from it than anything but okay.

00:54:51: so to tackle your question..I think When It comes to encouraging somebody I would say create a safe space first.

00:55:06: So especially if you're nervous, like... You should definitely be in a place where there's less of a chance of you retreating back into yourself and feeling inhibited?

00:55:21: Uh..I think music is a huge part of it!

00:55:24: You have to feel the music And get excited about what your hearing will let your body take over because It really is on a deep level, an advanced level.

00:55:38: Not advanced but it's emotion of the spirit...it's not something to think about But there is technique involved like music right?

00:55:51: So there are technical aspects that will give you more freedom.

00:55:55: just as with being a singer or playing an instrument You can find more freedom if you practiced technical exercises, but ultimately the possibilities are kind of endless and we're seeing that in The Dance World now.

00:56:11: It's like I see things done That have never been done before And just make give me goosebumps Like what?

00:56:21: Yes i'm going off into a tangent again But my point is everybody

00:56:26: Just to stay there for a second Like you see stuff that has never been done before, like what?

00:56:32: Um...like the way people are moving is so fluid.

00:56:41: That it doesn't look real.

00:56:45: The combination of styles All the styles are fusing together and your just getting the types of dancers we've not seen before.

00:56:57: Dancers who kinda feel You know, it's like you that they're taking pieces of hip-hop and maybe acrobatics.

00:57:06: And modern dance and ballet and their fusing at all together to a song that you wouldn't expect?

00:57:15: It is just really unique in beautiful.

00:57:17: on moving I...it's just incredible what's happening but i think that having the space to mess up like being in a safe space with music that inspires you and learning that, like... You can dance with your finger.

00:57:34: You can Dance With Your Hand Like just starting to experiment-like In terms of movement?

00:57:40: I Can Dance With My Head.

00:57:43: It's all about your connection To the Music And something That i often say to my Dancers Is that..I Really Think Of Dancing As Like going back to surfing, because surf was such a big part of my life growing up.

00:57:59: It's like you're surfing the sound waves?

00:58:01: Because even though they are invisible... They ARE passing through YOU!

00:58:06: And so it is.

00:58:07: how can you catch the sound wave?

00:58:09: or what way can you feel in your body?

00:58:14: What place does it want go

00:58:16: do?!

00:58:18: I'm getting more and more interested and doing some work with improv dance, because I just think that there are so many health benefits to it from like the meditative aspect of letting go.

00:58:36: And moving... To let your body dictate what you need do move stuff out.

00:58:45: So when i'm working my students right now often say Like okay Now take something inside like push it into the ground through your dance move.

00:58:58: And there's so much, people have so much inside of them that they need to let go and you see it come out.

00:59:04: and then you see this shift between the way that a dancer walked in to class versus the way their leaving?

00:59:12: It is an extraordinary shift!

00:59:18: Scientists don't really know why we dance but are some of them like to shake off trauma.

00:59:26: And as they're studying the brain of dancers, They're seeing that their brains work in completely different ways.

00:59:34: I mean same thing with musicians just Like the way that the synapses or firing Are very different.

00:59:39: The way that they interpret Information is different.

00:59:45: Emotional benefits too...I think there's multiple studies but I know that they're finding out the dance is like as effective in fifty percent of the participants of studies involving anti-depressants.

01:00:07: So, people who start dancing versus the people go on antidepressants are just as happier—they experience an increase and happiness —that's equal to or

01:00:20: greater."

01:00:21: than being on an anti-depressant.

01:00:24: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

01:00:27: I mean antidepressants and especially it's more sustainable right?

01:00:33: When you take antidepresants basically You more or less have to keep taking them.

01:00:40: but with dance the entire depression always let's say Ways doesn't have to be danced.

01:00:48: But Of course It's A good way going there.

01:00:53: It changes your entire way of not being depending on the antidepressants, so it's a completely...it's just a natural way of going about it and of course its much more sustainable and better.

01:01:10: Well you gotta keep dancing but yes!

01:01:15: I wouldn't say that or no

01:01:16: You wouldn't have to keep it up?

01:01:19: No Not.

01:01:20: from my experience, I worked with a lot of people who have depression.

01:01:24: And i do use different techniques but there is something... Depression Is A Lack Of Emotional Resonance.

01:01:38: So If You Have Technique To Go Back Into Your Body And Activate An Emotional Awareness and Richness Almost Always The Depression Is Gone.

01:01:54: That makes sense.

01:01:55: Yeah, because yes there are chemical things happening too but I think also it's like part of depression is being really out-of your body you know?

01:02:09: You're not present and

01:02:09: very emotionally deprived.

01:02:12: It's

01:02:13: usually a lot of.

01:02:15: it can be suppression to...it's like you've cut yourself off Because you're not wanting to feel certain things.

01:02:20: And that why even with my young kids they could be dancing Um, and they start crying.

01:02:28: Yeah I understand

01:02:30: that because there's something That the song is bringing up for them or The dance is bringing it out For them.

01:02:39: They need to release.

01:02:41: So yeah i mean There are so much you could say about this And of course i've made a very simplified version Of It.

01:02:48: so please no one in Anyone write me About like its Much more complex than that yes?

01:02:55: Yes

01:02:56: It was just an average comment on depression.

01:03:02: Right, we're talking like large conceptual ideas?

01:03:05: Exactly!

01:03:09: I found that really interesting.

01:03:12: the dance part.

01:03:13: so how about improvisational theater?

01:03:18: what did you learn from it?

01:03:22: and I don't know how much you want to make it.

01:03:27: life, humanity, creativity.

01:03:30: Like take it wherever you

01:03:33: want.".

01:03:34: I just whenever i would see great improvisational theater especially...I love musical theatre improv and I did that for a while as well.

01:03:50: but like the people who are masters at Musical Theatre Improv are just so impressive because they can put on a full musical.

01:03:58: that kind of pretty much makes sense from start to finish.

01:04:02: And it's all improvised, you know?

01:04:04: They have a band there.

01:04:06: but in general improv like... There was the book I read called Improvisation for The Spirit That Really Affected The Way That I Thought About Improv and then as i started actually take classes because I was an actor and wanted to get better at comedy, i realized that the life benefits of it are just incredible.

01:04:33: Because essentially like you're training yourself To always think about possibility versus shutting down ideas cuz everything in improv is yes-and And its building rather than taking away.

01:04:45: so Like with improv if you say something um...I have to validate It and then I have add on And so, we're building a scenario together.

01:04:58: So not only is it... It's a team effort as much as it is like a solo endeavor.

01:05:06: I mean you could do an improv monologue but You are also interacting with other people whether its one person or entire team of people to create and it creates wonderful ability to collaborate within yourself in terms of just like being open to other people's ideas and supporting other peoples' ideas.

01:05:29: And you have to be uber-flexible because our brains are moving quickly.

01:05:34: as improvers, we're creative... You have storylines on your head about how this thing can go.

01:05:42: when one person says something that derails the entire idea that you had?

01:05:46: Then you'd just have to go with their idea.

01:05:48: but I think it is the beauty.

01:05:51: We just keep saying yes, so it keeps you in a very present moment space of active listening.

01:06:00: And we're living in a world where our brains are splitting... ...in terms of-we can watch a movie and we're scrolling on our phone at the same time or talking to people.

01:06:13: while I'm scrolling on my phone there's just so much information input coming out us.

01:06:19: So I think that there's no better time to practice improvisational theater than right now because it'll make you dive into the present moment, especially if you're performing on stage too.

01:06:30: You really have to be present.

01:06:33: How is...I mean..I don't know about others but i feel that improv comedy has quite people know what it is?

01:06:44: Most people have seen something of it improvisational musical theater different in a sense that like if I try to anticipate what it might be, i could see that.

01:07:02: It also very avant-garde and always so meaningful.

01:07:11: everything is so meaningful It has such a strong message and I always feel that it's to me sometimes.

01:07:23: That is too heavy, you know?

01:07:25: Like not too heavy from the topic but too heavy for... Oh yeah!

01:07:29: I heard what you wanted to say to me.

01:07:31: so like that You already said it for half an hour And i get What do you want to tell Me?

01:07:36: thank you So much For..I got The Message you Know and they're over and Over and ..and I Feel that there Is some criticism.

01:07:43: that maybe its me I don't know.

01:07:45: But ...i find it Sometimes that way.

01:07:49: And for improvisational, I feel that there is probably no concept.

01:07:54: There's probably nothing you can foresee and... ...I'm asking even like how do we get a coherent storyline?

01:08:05: When does it

01:08:05: end?!

01:08:05: You know!

01:08:07: So many questions i have about this.

01:08:09: Well its practice.. ..and you learn the structure of To structure an entire story, right?

01:08:21: So

01:08:22: oh so okay these there is structure to it.

01:08:25: Yes Okay your structure too and you practice kind of the structure but the structures still being It's still improvised.

01:08:32: So whatever store you're telling Is a completely new story.

01:08:35: But you know most storytelling has you've got to be getting in middle-end And then you have like arcs in each scene And you have conflict and conflict resolution.

01:08:46: The typical storytelling methods?

01:08:49: Yes, exactly!

01:08:50: If you're doing improv musical theater specifically other improv not necessarily because we have a lot of different like improv games and exercises that you might be playing on stage.

01:08:59: but for musical theatre in general I mean especially even with the song it's when I was like, how what are we going to learn?

01:09:08: You know the first class ever took.

01:09:10: And the first thing that you learned is you learn how to improvise a song.

01:09:14: and so you learn that if your gonna improvise this on you better improvise A Chorus.

01:09:22: That Is Easily Memorable Because Your Gonna Forget All The Words.

01:09:27: If You Don't So Remember Like The First Chorus I Ever Improvised I slipped on a banana,

01:09:37: I slipped

01:09:38: down a banana.

01:09:40: Slippity side slide, slippery side, I sliped on the banana or something like that and so everybody immediately was able to sing it with me.

01:09:49: but if i had made it some wordy storyline for Chorus...I wouldn't have remembered it.

01:09:58: then they would not be able join in.

01:10:03: Cool is you kind of have a little bit of a structure like?

01:10:06: okay well if I'm going to the song, and then we all know that my whole cast will join in with me on The Second Time That The Chorus Happens.

01:10:17: And usually it's an opposing view.

01:10:23: so whatever i was saying now im gonna oppose I am clumsy and I slip on bananas, then maybe the bridge is like... You know whatever it

01:10:51: I'm going down and time

01:10:52: slows down as i fall down to my knees.

01:10:56: It's just like you kind of go for

01:10:58: it.".

01:10:58: And even doing musical theater improv, obviously this has helped me a lot in songwriting because again... You lose that sense of self-consciousness when you practice it.

01:11:09: Going back into the comedy of it ...you don't take yourself too seriously anymore and you get used to failing, that's okay.

01:11:23: because maybe I definitely feel like the first group.

01:11:29: we failed a lot before it got funny.

01:11:31: That was fine!

01:11:32: It is all part of process You know?

01:11:35: Can i say this really quickly One of the coolest parts of musical theater improv Is as an actor your on stage.

01:11:45: Um, it's the band that decides when this song is going to happen.

01:11:49: So you might be having a moment on stage and they- They know whoever's leading the band who like This Is The Perfect Time.

01:11:56: but they choose... Oh

01:11:58: so their part of them.

01:11:59: improvisation?

01:12:01: Yes And they choose..the type Of Song!

01:12:05: So Like Maybe You're Going Through Like A Dramatic Breakup And Then You Hear An Intro To Kindof Like A Tango Type Song.

01:12:15: you know, that's like really vampy or something.

01:12:20: And sometimes it is always funny to watch an actor be in the scene and then look over at the band.

01:12:32: okay we're going this direction kind of laughing into the band.

01:12:36: ok well I'm gonna go for but there are elements That collaboration of.

01:12:43: I don't get to choose what this song is gonna sound like except for the melody.

01:12:48: cool

01:12:49: Yeah, there's a great group.

01:12:50: I don' know if they're still performing.

01:12:51: If you ever an LA it's called baby wants candy.

01:12:54: and then there was another one called diamond lion But their you know find a local one?

01:12:59: I don''t know if you guys have any near you but They're really fun to watch.

01:13:03: No we don't.

01:13:05: no i'm sure We don't.

01:13:08: well Of course, I'm saying that like it's fact but maybe we do.

01:13:13: But i never heard of it.

01:13:15: Well...I could help- I'll do a little research for you.

01:13:18: See if I can find something.

01:13:20: So what did u take away from this?

01:13:24: Like in the sense?

01:13:25: how does it change your everyday life?

01:13:29: Maybe being creative Maybe interacting with people.

01:13:33: Whatever It changed?

01:13:37: do that improvisational theater?

01:13:40: Well, specifically because I had already done improvisational theatre before.

01:13:45: i did improvisational musical theatre and doing the musical theatre really helped me.

01:13:52: Because even as an improviser in the early years ,I was still very hesitant until you fully drive home And like, yes.

01:14:07: Especially if you're a negative person which I was pretty negative and fearful when I was younger.

01:14:12: um...and that's something that i think that improv has changed in me.

01:14:16: because You can't-you..You're up there on stage!

01:14:20: You have to do something.

01:14:21: but with musical theater improv especially Like this song is starting?

01:14:28: I have to sing.

01:14:29: Do you know what I mean?

01:14:30: There's no backing out at this point.

01:14:33: As an actor, you can talk your way out of being in a scene if you're scared versus like as the singer.

01:14:42: You have to sing something and you'd have to make this

01:14:44: work.".

01:14:44: And so it got me used to performing through a lot of fear because I would just kind of be terrified and excited at the same time.

01:14:54: We were performing in front of fairly small forgiving crowds So...I felt okay about it But I don't know, I'd love to go back to it because...I'm way more seasoned especially after teaching this.

01:15:10: Because i've only been teaching improv for four years now but every year like I understand on a deeper level cause anytime you teach something your teaching yourself.

01:15:22: so yeah with all of the stuff and everything that I have done It's all about having a consistent practice of facing your fear of creation, learning how to let it go or learning how work through.

01:15:43: Finding joy and excitement versus nervousness like transforming that feeling into excitement vs anxiety because they're almost the same thing.

01:15:58: That is just where I am in my process.

01:16:00: Say again say that sentence What is almost the same thing?

01:16:03: Well, anxiety and like anxiety.

01:16:07: Like a fearful sense of nervousness versus an exciting sense of nerves are all most the same things.

01:16:14: Like what separates them.

01:16:15: was really fear vs confidence or fever vs love if you want to look at it that way.

01:16:21: but I still get... You know there's something i did early on as kid just naturally And then started talking with my students out loud about this.

01:16:31: You know, I would feel really nervous backstage before I was dancing and I would shake.

01:16:37: But it's a great dancer.

01:16:39: so...I just had a lot of self-doubt because you can be well practiced at something but still have lots of self doubt.

01:16:50: So i'd take all of that and say oh this is going to be amazing.

01:16:59: Instead of like this fear, I just be like...I'm gonna go out there and shine.

01:17:05: Which is also a little bit intense because i was having intense feelings.

01:17:10: it would absolutely work!

01:17:12: It's going to make everybody smile in the crowd.

01:17:20: That was my coping mechanism that developed for me.

01:17:30: And now

01:17:31: I still focus on the same thing when i'm nervous too.

01:17:33: Like, okay who's in audience that needs to be encouraged today and can I just perform knowing there is one person that might be touched by my performance you know?

01:17:45: Maybe a lot more but like... Can I give it to that person rather than being focused on myself?

01:17:52: So your focusing only connection with the audience

01:17:56: Yeah And being grateful that there's somebody sitting here who wants to watch you.

01:18:01: Yeah

01:18:02: You know, because they're there for a reason and came up-lifted I don't think if they come their to get more depressed about life They came there...to raise their vibes.

01:18:14: So um...you said your going change the faculty part?

01:18:21: Oh yeah okay That

01:18:22: teaching To make more music.

01:18:26: I am so overextended, right?

01:18:28: I mean...I also have like my own private practice of clients that i coach too.

01:18:34: And So Right now it was just all these things kind of built up at once and yeah..i'm ready to really focus on creating My own art again!

01:18:48: I haven't done that in a long time.

01:18:51: What is your main income?

01:18:52: the teaching part?

01:18:54: Yeah, teaching and then my own business.

01:18:57: My own business of teaching and doing guest classes but also coaching one-on-one.

01:19:03: so I'm going to do more coaching on One On One And less teaching...I can coach with people over Zoom So it gives me a lot more time.

01:19:17: That means dance as well or voice?

01:19:21: I even do life coaching, but like dance and live coaching.

01:19:27: But I mostly life coach creative people who are working towards creating things in their life or you know for youth just Working toward solidifying And getting to know themselves and having creative freedom whether it's?

01:19:44: oh You know i have a client.

01:19:47: I've been working with her for years, and when i first started working With Her.

01:19:51: Her goals were very different than they are now And in the beginning it was all about dance and Now that student is...now Working towards being an actor and a singer as well.

01:20:05: Those were All things we kind of discovered.

01:20:08: Then I have clients who want to learn how To song write or just Understand how to open creative channels and again, like have a consistent practice.

01:20:20: And I think for youth it's really important for them to embody themselves as creatives if that is the way they identify so that know who are from an earlier age versus having any sort of traumatic.

01:20:35: there're many ways traumatic events happen to them where they lose their creativity.

01:20:41: I mean, even for myself like i had a dance teacher who was very unsupportive and it was A really tough experience For me.

01:20:50: And i deal with clients Who have had narcissistic dance teachers?

01:20:56: One of the reasons that they're working With me is just To heal those wounds and get back into class because It Was such a bad experience That They don't want to go to Class anymore

01:21:08: Yeah.

01:21:13: So what is your struggles?

01:21:15: What are the struggles that you have, maybe it has to do with changing the teaching aspect and going more into business or making music like...what's things that you're struggling

01:21:38: with?

01:21:38: I think most people struggle with is self-doubt and fear.

01:21:42: You know just and exploring that.

01:21:46: And instead of like hiding, there were so many years I didn't want to look at my fear or deal with it... ...and then the more that i actually faced it and dealt with it The more empowered i became.

01:21:59: Can you say what fear is?

01:22:04: Okay So a big thing for me was a fear being seen but also wanting to be seen.

01:22:16: Like on the deepest level, it was like I wanted to be scene for who I really am on a deep level.

01:22:23: but i had some experiences as kid where when did show someone whether is an adult figure or family member part of myself that was performer and then got shut down made fun in any way You know, you learn to hide those parts of yourself and stop expressing who really are.

01:22:48: So just doing the work to keep uncovering myself... I think one of most important shifts that i've made is making sure that had truly supportive people around me And then have a support system.

01:23:04: so Making sure like if there's group Like, there's like an acapella jam group that I was going to for awhile and i just met great people who um lifted me up.

01:23:21: And really saw who I was as-as an artist?

01:23:26: That gave me confidence and let me know that like There are people out there who love to do this so you can find those people.

01:23:35: Becca Stevens at the hideaway said if she was on a desert island Somebody said, like would you make music for if you were by yourself?

01:23:46: And she was like.

01:23:47: I don't know.

01:23:48: If i would but She's like But if there is one other person There I probably Would Make Music For Them and I think that there's a big part of doing art.

01:23:57: That Is about being seen and sharing your gifts and wanting to connect To another Person.

01:24:05: You Know even for you as A teenager dancing Was About a little bit about wanting to connect two Romantic partner or whatever it is like.

01:24:13: there's this you know, There's this feeling of like hey.

01:24:18: I don't want to be alone and I think that I was very lonely for a long time Just kind of in denial of like.

01:24:26: This Is Who?

01:24:27: I am.

01:24:31: But once You Figure It out And You Surround Yourself with the Right People your Joy Like Sky Rockets.

01:24:37: so I think that's been the antidote for me.

01:24:40: I went to therapy, then started...I hired a coach.

01:24:46: she is unbelievable!

01:24:48: That part of reason why i became a coach.

01:24:51: so making sure you have this support around your go after whatever it was you want do in life no matter what its.

01:25:01: and It was funny because when told school leave as faculty member and go into more, you know part-time work.

01:25:13: I like three days later somebody called me from another school and was like can we hire you here?

01:25:19: So it was just really interesting!

01:25:21: It was the universe was testing me but there was that fear of am i ever going to get a job this again or should i feel so lucky?

01:25:33: Then one popped up right away and I felt like it was the universe just saying, hey look.

01:25:37: It's here for you if you want to but you don't need to take it

01:25:40: now.".

01:25:41: And also a test of no i'm determined...I feel this is really the best thing that can be done!

01:25:50: When we make those decisions from our heart & faith The Universe opens a path.

01:26:02: But it's not that the path doesn't open until you make a decision.

01:26:06: And sometimes, y'know... Sometimes it does but I think in my experience.. ..I usually have to determine like okay i'm choosing this and then the path opens.

01:26:16: I mean had another job- I quit for a long time.

01:26:19: I worked at Studios as a dance teacher .and was the director of team ,and I'd built up with them.

01:26:26: It is really difficult for me leave and then day decided to leave and hadn't even told anybody yet I met this person who became one of my biggest clients and they wanted to work with me right away.

01:26:39: It just literally showed up in front of me, so... ...I think that when you make decisions and take a leap of faith.

01:26:48: the landing pad will appear for you.

01:26:55: Yeah?

01:26:55: I guess there's something to it.

01:26:58: The problem is of course jumping.

01:27:03: I'm a coach as well.

01:27:04: And, um... ...I have an analogy for that.

01:27:08: when i talk with people and I call over we like- I work with somebody but.. ..I called it spiritual bungee jumping mm-hmm!

01:27:20: It's basically the moment that saying out loud to faculty you're going leave or be part time whatever is the moment where there's something that you have to jump, and then you cannot undo it.

01:27:42: You can't get words back into your mouth like they're spoken.

01:27:48: so... And for me this is a moment of spongy jumping.

01:27:53: I feel very interesting to explore what holds you back To be able to jump.

01:28:01: How do we deal with having jumped?

01:28:05: How do you work with that?

01:28:08: Like what is how do you walk with your body, where the body with a heart would be or With our thoughts?

01:28:15: and I feel like it's very important.

01:28:20: Yeah as you said being surrounded by people who also can help me with that somehow.

01:28:28: I think the biggest epidemic That we have is loneliness And I Feel that something that unfortunately even We're so connected supposedly, but the way social media is connected it's not connected at all.

01:28:51: It's not human.

01:28:54: There is a sense of connectedness because you are part of some vague group or people who sometimes have similar cultural reference Because the internet has culture in itself But that still isn't being connected to a person there, that way you can open up.

01:29:14: And I feel like it's something completely different and actually needs to be tackled a lot.

01:29:25: but doesn't seem as if this is priority in most cultures or societies currently?

01:29:38: that say, but on a systemic structural political whatever level it feels like there's no importance in that area.

01:29:55: In terms of social interaction

01:30:00: or

01:30:01: loneliness and addressing

01:30:05: all the way we talk to each other how are connecting treating people, how we are connected to ourselves.

01:30:15: How can help each other connect with us and all of the things that you touched upon?

01:30:20: I think a lot.

01:30:22: when you talk about them in private or just like friends family they say this would be nice but i feel it's not priority.

01:30:41: anything that is on a structural systemic level.

01:30:46: Because then we talk about economy and wars, things that are exactly the opposite of them.

01:30:55: Right systems in place to exploit people or divide versus bringing them together?

01:31:03: Yeah

01:31:05: I think you know lot.

01:31:06: those systems are actively releasing propaganda, whether it's in the media or social media that are designed to divide us from ourselves.

01:31:23: So and I think that most power... It's like we... Yes!

01:31:28: To what you're saying in every aspect?

01:31:31: And then also looking at-looking inward and knowing For me, I have to have a relationship... ...to my spiritual side.

01:31:51: That's really important for me—to process emotions and information….

01:32:00: …and then community obviously but even if i'm relying on community one hundred percent of the time too then I'm carrying way too much about what other people might think of me or letting other people make decisions for me.

01:32:16: So, i feel like the aspect of life starting internally and being reflected on the outside through what starts on the inside is something we don't talk about enough.

01:32:31: And that's also super important, because the glasses... The way you're going to see the world is through the lens that your looking through.

01:32:39: So I myself have to know when i'm looking at a lens thats negative and then shift it like oh im looking for these glasses today so Im gonna take them off and put a different pair of glasses on.

01:32:51: but just having some sort relationship with yourself involves compassion and reflection your happiness coming from Your own opinion of yourself versus other people's opinion Of myself because there's a lot.

01:33:11: There were many years where I listened to what society told me.

01:33:15: I should do or What mean?

01:33:16: I majored in criminology and law Like like.

01:33:22: sure, I could have been a great lawyer but i would've been so unhappy it It Would Have Been Me miserable.

01:33:28: So Then I also kept Wouldn't get off the path of dance like I kept going down and then i went back to acting And still, I had this hesitation.

01:33:38: Like it never fully jumped.

01:33:40: So I think with music this time?

01:33:42: I'm fully giving myself permission To jump You know and just see instead Of holding on to what society has told me that I have to do which is like you Have to keep a responsible job.

01:33:55: I have a responsible job.

01:33:57: The knowledge, the experience to work with other people...I'm confident of that at this point in my life.

01:34:02: like you don't have to be scared anymore.

01:34:05: so i think we have to make decisions out of wisdom.

01:34:10: if I was twenty-five?

01:34:13: Oh!

01:34:13: I could just be coach

01:34:14: right?!

01:34:14: Like I can be a coach full time now or part time because I had the life experience and studied it certified.

01:34:24: I've done a lot of work on myself.

01:34:40: I think

01:34:55: it's true that you have to come back to yourself and connect with your self, to have a lot of answers... ...that you cannot get from the outside world.

01:35:10: But i also feel there is a paradox within that because if you don't have any guidance on what are looking for in you or how to tackle things are just so far out of your reference, because we all have our frame-of-reference and it sometimes needs other thoughts to see the world differently.

01:35:38: Often!

01:35:39: And I feel that this is unfortunately a part of it... That you probably an entire generation grows up with guidance.

01:35:58: How do you say that, like a social media influencer world where everything is broken down into simplistic statements and red flags or whatever kind of flags.

01:36:13: And I don't know people who are bigots or not in patriarchy or not?

01:36:21: All these buzzwords that are floating around it's all labels... ...and the nuance within there It's just.

01:36:31: it's something that you would experience in real life and learn from That.

01:36:37: so I feel there is a. So how do you bring these people to themselves?

01:36:42: You know like they has To be in my opinion somebody who's actually guiding to Be able to come back to yourself.

01:36:51: Well, And i think we are all interconnected There is a responsibility in my opinion, if you're conscious and want to make the world better place.

01:37:06: You wanna change these aspects of the world that are not working for people where we have get outside our comfort zone.

01:37:20: I like, I volunteer my time and they don't always want to volunteer.

01:37:23: My time there.

01:37:25: sometimes There's something that I really wanted do but I've all I've you know said okay?

01:37:29: I'm gonna go volunteer.

01:37:30: i think showing up in community is one of the biggest ways That we can combat loneliness And combat You Know authoritarianism.

01:37:40: But somebody like you or I who are both coaches Like going out into the world and just being present for people able to see people and validate their circumstances in some sort of like whatever forum that is, it's really important.

01:38:00: Like my husband does what quote unquote like men's work which he's part that is all about deconstructing toxic masculinity and stepping into healthy masculinity.

01:38:12: And, that's made such a huge difference on our marriage.

01:38:15: but in his life like he feels a sense of connectivity to the whole group and get to hear each other, give input.

01:38:32: And I think that especially for men it's difficult.

01:38:40: The nuance of life experience is so important!

01:38:43: Things aren't black or white... who maybe like disagree with me on certain issues, but we can find a middle ground if we talk in person and want to find the middle ground.

01:38:57: But you can't do that over social media especially... I've tried!

01:39:02: Especially because people again are looking through their own lens and all have somebody say something kind of really rude when genuinely trying to be kind.

01:39:14: And they took it, my words and put their own tone on them because they can't hear My Tone of

01:39:21: Voice.".

01:39:22: In Buddhism we say the voice does the Buddha's work.

01:39:26: There is also a phrase that like The tongue isn't axe meaning Like its powerful.

01:39:33: Our writing To each other Is Powerful.

01:39:36: We have to watch our Words a positive tone of voice or a voice, a tone that comes from the heart.

01:39:44: You can't hear that online at all.

01:39:47: so to me is a big problem.

01:39:51: again.

01:39:52: it's like this isolation chamber where whatever you're feeling...you are reading these things but your'e just feeling through whatever emotions feel different to you, right?

01:40:11: But it's all very influential especially on youth.

01:40:15: and how can we go about changing this whole system that has now been created.

01:40:22: That is bananas so crazy!

01:40:29: Yeah I think there was some nice last words, I think.

01:40:41: And um...I'll leave it at that for this conversation.

01:40:46: Well i want to say one thing which is kind of ties in everything we were just talking about back into the hideaway and what you said earlier You told-you said early on this conversation..You said I think The Voice Is Like The Most Powerful Instrument And I had like This Flashback.

01:41:04: To The First Time That U & I Met We had a great conversation, we were sitting next to each other singing.

01:41:14: It was during Jacob's playing and I think it is the first or second night that he met you... That he was playing!

01:41:22: And then standing in the back of his auditorium through the whole concert at the end You started talking with me so i could tell your singer that question of like, do you play an instrument?

01:41:34: And YOU were one of the people who really solidified to me because you said so.

01:41:39: You looked at it and I think your voice is probably my most powerful

01:41:43: instrument.".

01:41:56: three or four days and all the information I was getting in.

01:41:59: And, um...I really appreciated that conversation we

01:42:02: had.".

01:42:03: Yeah!

01:42:04: I'm happy.

01:42:05: uh..that's so funny because i remember the moment now.

01:42:09: you mentioned it but ...you don't know what impacts others y'know?

01:42:14: That is so interesting to me there.

01:42:16: just a comment becuase.

01:42:18: thats how I felt But I didn't know like an impact on you.

01:42:23: So its nice to hear

01:42:25: It was a huge impact.

01:42:26: I think i wrote it in one of my journals, but it's funny because I forgot about that week with so full of so much That...I forgot about until you said it again and I was like oh!

01:42:37: Was YOU who said THAT to me?

01:42:41: I remember also we were in the class where

01:42:49: David?

01:42:51: Yes,

01:42:52: exactly In the end, we had to write some poems like I don't know, poems but words.

01:43:01: We have to write down some words that were inside...I don't remember actually what the exercise was But i remember people starting to share.

01:43:10: It's such a great moment as well Just hearing What is currently in them and yeah..i love it.

01:43:18: The whole

01:43:20: experience.

01:43:21: so magical idea of a creative retreat for musicians, where we're all sharing so much.

01:43:31: It's like learning from everybody else.

01:43:34: but then the conversations that you have with just every single person outside each class was a learning moment as well.

01:43:43: You know I learned still much from each person that i talked to.

01:43:47: That.

01:43:47: why do these episodes?

01:43:49: yeah

01:43:50: I didn't know what to expect and when i saw them, it was like this is such an amazing thing because you really are continuing the energy.

01:44:00: And your coming right?

01:44:01: To Italy?

01:44:02: Coming to Italy so's my husband.

01:44:05: That's great!

01:44:06: So...I can't wait.

01:44:07: see again.

01:44:08: Yeah me too

01:44:09: Also meet your husband.

01:44:11: Yes..i think that you guys will get along very well and im super excited for him.

01:44:18: And there's some other people that, did you meet Gabe?

01:44:22: I know Gabe is coming again.

01:44:25: There are a couple of people who

01:44:26: were incoming That i'm really excited to see Again and not sleep for an entire week with Exactly.

01:44:36: We're up all

01:44:37: night just talking in doing jamming In doing music like...that was the most special thing To me I remember going to sleep one morning.

01:44:44: I was like, I got to go to bed and it was four thirty

01:44:47: a.m.,

01:44:48: And i'm sitting in bed... ...and just keep hearing recorders pass outside the hotel room window or some other strange instrument Or people harmonizing at this distance.

01:45:02: This is something that I've never experienced before.

01:45:05: It's pure magic.

01:45:08: Yeah!

01:45:08: That was great.

01:45:11: So yeah, thank you Edge.

01:45:13: Thank you for the conversation.

01:45:15: I enjoyed it a lot so i wish you good day!

01:45:19: Thank You so much.

01:45:20: looking forward to seeing again

01:45:23: absolutely and until then

01:45:27: Yeah see

01:45:28: you bye.